Profoundly dull

Like all the other households in Ulverston we found a copy of Profound colours on our doorstep the other day. I was underwhelmed to say the least. I found the majority of the pictures profoundly dull, and so bizarrely abstract that I failed to grasp the point of this artistic endeavour.
I don't know what I expected, well in truth I wasn't expecting anything, let alone this pointless exercise in how to spend money on something nobody wanted.

But wait, maybe this is what art is all about, doing something nobody expects, for no reason at all, except to give the artist a means of expressing some inner meaning to the colour of our existence. Mmm yeh maybe that's it, I need to change my perspective, chill a little and get underneath the skin of the artist and see the world from a new point of view.

No, I'm still not getting this; so maybe it's me, I'm just not able to reach out and connect with it. I just find myself thinking that this is a waste of money.

But come on Colin life is just a bowl of cherries, and if somebody else thinks it's raspberries who am I to be critical.

They say in the blurb at the back of the book that this will be around as long as Ulverston is here, Mmmmmmm, bit of a big claim there, mines already heading for the recycling bin, which is no doubt where many will end up, or on ebay to sell for vast amounts of money just to prove how much of a philistine I am when it comes to art.

I even got a name check in this book, why I don't know because when asked to take part I remember saying I don't know what it's all about. Please don't blame me I don't remember making any contribution to this, IT WASN'T ME. I am profoundly innocent, honest.

I thought it profoundly dull.